Nye
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +135/-48
Posts: 4251
"Y'all got fake poo?"
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« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2009, 10:10:13 AM » |
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I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth!
I don't get it. |
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newefezziwig
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +115/-2
Posts: 2065
Work it
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« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2009, 10:11:47 AM » |
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I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth!
I don't get it. But ... you can jelly it?  |
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Where are my shoes?
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$1.50
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« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2009, 10:16:52 AM » |
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I thought the punchline was going to be "fruit pectin".
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roxy
Skeletal Being
Karma: +34/-2
Posts: 786
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« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2009, 01:44:53 PM » |
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I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth!
Bull, thank you for that. You just made my day. The joke I wanted you to tell (back on March 25th) was the one about the little black boy with the big dick. |
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Frottage, frottage, what the fuck is frottage?!
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newefezziwig
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +115/-2
Posts: 2065
Work it
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« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2009, 01:47:52 PM » |
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I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth!
Bull, thank you for that. You just made my day. The joke I wanted you to tell (back on March 25th) was the one about the little black boy with the big dick. Should we rename this thread The "Inside Joke" Thread?? |
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Where are my shoes?
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roxy
Skeletal Being
Karma: +34/-2
Posts: 786
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« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2009, 01:53:13 PM » |
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If I could remember how the joke goes, I'd tell it.
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Frottage, frottage, what the fuck is frottage?!
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Shoval Manuts
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +145/-39
Posts: 2648
Wreckin' Decks N Gettin' Sex
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« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2009, 02:13:39 PM » |
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One day, a black boy comes home from school and says "Mommy, I was told that I have the biggest penis in the third grade." "You know why that is," asks the mom. "Because I'm black?" says the boy. "No, it's because you're 15 years old," says the mom.
Something like that.
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Hells Retards - where it's okay to wear the helmet after you get off the bike.
Heeeeeeeey, this isn't the way to Chuckie Cheese!!!
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Tha_Professa
Taint Specialist
Karma: +153/-63
Posts: 7615
Recognize, BITCHES!
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« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2009, 02:15:38 PM » |
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Yeah... I think the joke that Bull brought to the table was better.
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I don't have opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, and everyone is the best at everything.
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Nye
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +135/-48
Posts: 4251
"Y'all got fake poo?"
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« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2009, 02:20:30 PM » |
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One day, a black boy comes home from school and says "Mommy, I was told that I have the biggest penis in the third grade." "You know why that is," asks the mom. "Because I'm black?" says the boy. "No, it's because you're 15 years old," says the mom.
Something like that.
Should I feel guilty that I think that's funny? |
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roxy
Skeletal Being
Karma: +34/-2
Posts: 786
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« Reply #39 on: April 15, 2009, 02:32:47 PM » |
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Nah...
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Frottage, frottage, what the fuck is frottage?!
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Shoval Manuts
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +145/-39
Posts: 2648
Wreckin' Decks N Gettin' Sex
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« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2009, 02:48:38 PM » |
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Yeah... I think the joke that Bull brought to the table was better.
Well, it's the same joke, but maybe worded slightly different. I'm paraphrasing at this point. |
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Hells Retards - where it's okay to wear the helmet after you get off the bike.
Heeeeeeeey, this isn't the way to Chuckie Cheese!!!
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Tha_Professa
Taint Specialist
Karma: +153/-63
Posts: 7615
Recognize, BITCHES!
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« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2009, 02:52:25 PM » |
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Well, it's the same joke, but maybe worded slightly different. I'm paraphrasing at this point.
Huh? One day, a black boy comes home from school and says "Mommy, I was told that I have the biggest penis in the third grade." "You know why that is," asks the mom. "Because I'm black?" says the boy. "No, it's because you're 15 years old," says the mom. Equals What's the difference between peanut butter & jam?
I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth! ?? |
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I don't have opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, and everyone is the best at everything.
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homesystem
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +119/-34
Posts: 4446
You broke it... you bought it...
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« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2009, 02:53:36 PM » |
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Well, it's the same joke, but maybe worded slightly different. I'm paraphrasing at this point.
Huh? One day, a black boy comes home from school and says "Mommy, I was told that I have the biggest penis in the third grade." "You know why that is," asks the mom. "Because I'm black?" says the boy. "No, it's because you're 15 years old," says the mom. Equals What's the difference between peanut butter & jam?
I can't peanut butter my dick into your mouth! ??worst joke ever. |
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Bull
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« Reply #43 on: April 15, 2009, 02:59:35 PM » |
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Ponce your fucking this all up. Sean thought you meant that the joke I told origanally at the bar was better, which was the same on he just said. The peanut butter one I just felt like saying today. You guys are crossing your streams.
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roxy
Skeletal Being
Karma: +34/-2
Posts: 786
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« Reply #44 on: April 15, 2009, 03:28:45 PM » |
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When the light is green, the trap is clean.
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Frottage, frottage, what the fuck is frottage?!
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Nye
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +135/-48
Posts: 4251
"Y'all got fake poo?"
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« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2009, 03:34:06 PM » |
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Is this true?
Yes, this man has no dick.
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homesystem
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +119/-34
Posts: 4446
You broke it... you bought it...
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« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2009, 03:54:11 PM » |
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Well that's what I heard!!
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Jeebas
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +129/-101
Posts: 4520
I personally don't subscribe to that hocus-pocus
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« Reply #47 on: April 16, 2009, 09:12:25 AM » |
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Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!
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homesystem
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +119/-34
Posts: 4446
You broke it... you bought it...
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« Reply #48 on: April 16, 2009, 01:21:00 PM » |
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Tell him about the twinky.
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newefezziwig
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +115/-2
Posts: 2065
Work it
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« Reply #49 on: June 03, 2009, 02:14:19 PM » |
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Respectful Yo Mama JokesMy personal favorite: "Yo mama is so Internet-savvy she should start her own social-networking site designed specifically for moms. It would be really popular."
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Where are my shoes?
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Shoval Manuts
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +145/-39
Posts: 2648
Wreckin' Decks N Gettin' Sex
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« Reply #50 on: June 03, 2009, 02:23:17 PM » |
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Yo momma is so ugly, she made Ray Charles flinch.
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Hells Retards - where it's okay to wear the helmet after you get off the bike.
Heeeeeeeey, this isn't the way to Chuckie Cheese!!!
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newefezziwig
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +115/-2
Posts: 2065
Work it
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« Reply #51 on: June 03, 2009, 02:40:28 PM » |
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Yo mama teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
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Where are my shoes?
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Bull
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« Reply #52 on: June 03, 2009, 02:46:50 PM » |
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Your momma's so fat she uses a pillow for a tampon!
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Bull
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« Reply #53 on: June 03, 2009, 02:47:38 PM » |
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Your momma's like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans!
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Shoval Manuts
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +145/-39
Posts: 2648
Wreckin' Decks N Gettin' Sex
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« Reply #54 on: June 03, 2009, 05:30:02 PM » |
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Yo mama so ugly she went into a haunted house and came out with a job.
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Hells Retards - where it's okay to wear the helmet after you get off the bike.
Heeeeeeeey, this isn't the way to Chuckie Cheese!!!
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Tha_Professa
Taint Specialist
Karma: +153/-63
Posts: 7615
Recognize, BITCHES!
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« Reply #55 on: June 03, 2009, 05:46:51 PM » |
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Ah... that's nice. Good to see people getting jobs in this economy.
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I don't have opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, and everyone is the best at everything.
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Shoval Manuts
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +145/-39
Posts: 2648
Wreckin' Decks N Gettin' Sex
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« Reply #56 on: June 17, 2009, 12:44:42 PM » |
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What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
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Hells Retards - where it's okay to wear the helmet after you get off the bike.
Heeeeeeeey, this isn't the way to Chuckie Cheese!!!
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homesystem
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +119/-34
Posts: 4446
You broke it... you bought it...
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« Reply #57 on: June 17, 2009, 12:52:21 PM » |
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Or the hospital bed...
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Nye
Posty McPosterton
Karma: +135/-48
Posts: 4251
"Y'all got fake poo?"
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« Reply #58 on: June 23, 2009, 03:21:57 PM » |
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Wal Mart Diagnosis
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours
the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer then prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant; twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
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newefezziwig
Now THATS Devious!
Karma: +115/-2
Posts: 2065
Work it
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« Reply #59 on: September 14, 2009, 12:35:53 PM » |
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's Holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."
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